It's Not Goodbye; Till We Meet Again

Posted Wednesday, April 7, 2010 by catherine
It's not yet goodbye...but, till we meet again...



The fact that four of my most beloved kuyas are leaving, is so startling. They already finished their studies and I may say, (congratulations mga kuya), but it is still so vague. It still seems that they will forever be a part of TN and we will always be together. Holidays have been fun because I spent it with them. Looking back to the minute I stepped my foot on the TN office, it was then that I realized that I will be a part of it--and sure it did, I became a staffer!

I don't have a brother but in TN, I am full with brotherly love. They all inspire me and makes me wish I had a real brother but their mere presence is enough. I love all of my kuyas.

KUYA JUNRELL CALUNOD (TN EiC) My original Kuya

The first time I knew that he was the EiC, I laughed at my self. Because at first, I thought Kuya Noriel was Junrell Calunod. I mistook him for being the eic because he was always there at the written exam and the interview. 

Kuya Junrell, as I would squeeze my first impression, is respectable. It is when you look at him, you really can't say that he is just a normal student. He has the air of leadership and you can't just say he is a typical college student in the whole system of NORSU.

We were really not that close but as I would remember, he gives the warmest brotherly hug in the world when you need him. He gives you advises that you can easily relate upon. WAPU members are Kuyas closest but he showed to us--the Adam's Apple Society Girls--that we are his little sisters.

I also was very touched when Kuya showed his total concern for me when I was in the hospital. (Thank you for the icecream kuya--it saved my life actually.) Though he is always busy, he never forgets to jam with all of us. That is what I will miss about Kuya the most.

He is about to move on to another chapter in his life. We, who are left, will still embattle with the challenges he was had fought and conquered but we will always be inspired because at teh end of the day, there will always be a Kuya Junrell whom we can run to--no matter how far the distance.

KUYA MARVIN JAY MUPAL (TN News Editor) My lovable Kuya

He nitiated the Adam's Apple Society. I would always laugh at his clever jokes and would be touched by his brotherly concern to everyone though he would often stretch it in a funny manner.
At first, Kuya Mavs, as what I thought he was, was strict--writing wise. He is a good editor and he is responsible with his work.

We, the AAS girls are very close to him, especially Rolyn, Lycel, and I. He is always there, ready to make your eyes teary with laughter. Even if we have problems, being with Kuya Mavs would always remind us that life, indeed, is still worth living. I love you kuya mavs!

KUYA PAUL DENVER SY (TN Web Master) My 1/8 Chinese Kuya

Kuya Paul has always been approachable from the start.

I will not forget the time he taught us how to make a blogger account though he was rushing to his class. He is one of the few people who I salute for their knowledge in computer stuffs. What a computer freak you are kuya Denver!!! hahaha...

I always ask for his help when I (show my ignorance in civilization) can't seem to know how to make things possible through the computer, when I want to research a song, if I want to listen to a song, and whenever I sing a song, he does the searching for me...oh, sweet kuya Paul.

Though you told me before that you are sad because you don't have a special someone, and I can't believe it because you are so good-looking (Ahemmmm!)

Time will come Kuya that girls will fall in line for you. Hehehe... You will soon find the perfect girl for you. Someone who could take good care of you and someone whom you could take care of too.

KUYA CHRISTIAN EDU VILLEGAS (TN ARTIST) My cute Kuya

Thoug we were close only at the second semester, I still could say that I love kuya Tian!

Whenever I need an advise, he is just a text away. He knows some of my secrets too--he is a good listener.

Kuya Tian you will be a teacher soon. Keep on inspiring people with your warmth and charm... God Bless you Kuya Tian!!!



I love all of my Kuyas. I will miss them. Till we meet again my beloved Kuyas!!!



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Owl City - Vanilla Twilight - Music Video

Posted Friday, March 26, 2010 by catherine




more about "Owl City - Vanilla Twilight - Music V...", posted with vodpod
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I lost Everything

Posted by catherine
I lost everything but not that quite. I must say that the battle has long been over, that all that are left are the debris of miseries and remorse. I know I don't have the capacity to take it all back. But I want to change. How can I do this if I will never be given the chance to?
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I am just tired

Posted Thursday, March 25, 2010 by catherine


To everyone whom I have caused pain to--I'm so sorry, I am just tired--please bear with me.


A.) If I have been a real pain in the neck. If I really have been so, well, please bear with me. This is just me; I can adjust but not totally revoke my character. Emo they may say--I admit that I am--so they care? I care for all of you and please have the patience to stick with me...I really can't live alone.

B.) I am a great pessimist. I can't pretend to think positive if things around me are freaking me out. Once I say I want to die, it seems to be a consolation that at the end of the day, there will be two outcomes. It's either I will die, or those whom/which I hate the most will vanquish. But in the 17 years of my existence, neither of the two choices were granted. I wonder why. Maybe it is because... my pessimistic words are a reciprocating force that drives things to become positive. Because if not, I could have hung myself on the tree long time ago.

C.) Stupid Mood Swings. Sometimes, I become happy and on the next moment, I want to stab people who crosses my peripheral view. Damn it! I swear I don't like this attitude problem. But I salute those people who are long immuned with my unbearable behavior, I love you all guys.

D.) I have a criminal mind--joke!!!--but I want it to be true. How I wish  have this kind of ability. Like owning a death note, I really want to start writing names!





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On this side of town

Posted Monday, March 22, 2010 by catherine



I said I was just dying. I never said I would like to live. If I'll die--so be it!
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He Held My Hand

Posted Sunday, March 14, 2010 by catherine

He whispered the words that "I'll miss you"
and left a note outside the door
he said I'll be back some time
before our hearts grow cold
and you've never seen this heart
we never spent more than a day apart
you can say he's up to something
I can sense he's up to something

Cause he found love out west
he found everything that wasn't me
he found love in California
he found love in California

and I'm destined to start over
now I'm destined to start anew
cause I have everything in you...

So as goes the song of Four Letter Lie "Stay For A Lifetime". The question is, "Can he still stay with me? Everything has not been OK since he went away. I waited. I cried. Yet, I don't want to surrender. 

I already begged for him to stay. He didn't listen. He moved away. He left me. Yet now, I am still missing him. 

I already promised myself that I will never mention him again, but I still do. I never get tired of calling his name in the middle of the night, looking up the sky, hoping that he watches the stars like I do. Though always in tears, I reminisce our happy times together.

It has been a year since he left. The last time we were together was when he sent me home. Together, we went to my bestfriend's house. Holding the camera, he took pictures of me and him and my bestfriend appreciated his shots. I told  him that he can be a good photographer someday--so off he went. 

"Let's go home." I told him.

He smiled and held my hand. "Whatever you like, *****" 

He drove his motorcycle and I was right behind hugging him. It could have been sweet but not till he told me he's going to Manila. I was in tears but I remained strong hoping that everything will be OK. 

Months went by, I found a new love. He is still stuck in Manila and is already a photographer. Girls flock around him while I am still here, waiting and wishing he would come back.

Not till one fateful night...

He told me he's already in Dumaguete. I wondered if he was just joking or what. I asked him if it was true. He did not answer. 

Janet, on the other hand, really wants to help me because he is not replying my text messages. Janet texted him and he replied. She told him everything which I know I can't afford to tell him.

There, I got the closure I wanted from the start. He let me go. 

Many people are asking me, why I am like this. I just smile and say "I'm EMO".  

This is the answer to all your questions. 

Jerome Olarte (Jhom
) was my best friend. He used to teach me how to play basketball. He taught me how to play the guitar. He went with me to World Of Fun  and played just for me. He won a stuffed toy that time and gave it to me. I still have it till now--Wesley. 

We were friends for so long.We were together most of the time. He promised me he would stay with me forever-- I believed him then. 

But there was something about the way he held my hand. It signaled a thought of him saying goodbye. Girl's instincts are often true. I believe it now. 

Truth? I am still not over him. I don't know until when will I shake him off my heart. He used to be my everything, and now that he's gone, I lost every part of me. He is now happy with his life and I am here, stuck with my memories of him.

It's so painful. Seeing a couple holding hands is one of the daily sights which tortures me. I tried to divert my attention to someone.. yet I still can't. No one could ever equate with the love I out poured before just and only for him. 
I want to be happy. Yet every time I try to be, people always judge me. They value their opinion more than they should have listened to what I should say.

The issue on being close with boys doesn't mean I'm flirting. I just miss him, that's all. Boys have more sense than when you talk to girls. 

I miss him everyday. I miss him so bad. How can I move on or find some one new if every day of my life, he occupies my thoughts and my heart. I need help. Bad thing about falling in love is not moving on.

The next time that someone will hold my hand,I hope it means forever. I miss you.






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Diversion Avenue

Posted by catherine
Looking back at what Cheeno told me, "You are so pathetic hon." with a sheepish smile. (the nerve of him!) Well, I don't mind. The truth that I am pathetic is already established in the pages of Encyclopedia Britanica. (better check it if you don't agree)

Because of that, I am diverting my attention to my crushes in the Anime world. They won't leave me. That's the best thing about them. The following are my crushes, my future husbandsssss... hahaha...exaggerated.

Death Note Instructions. Tackled here are the rules that must be remembered in using the note of death. (If it happens to be true, I wanna start writing names!!! evil laughs)


L. His name is L. He is weird but cool. (I love his hair--ofcourse! It reminds me of him... shivers!)
Light. The main character of Death Note. (He's so yummy isn't it???)
Mello. One of L's descendants. (The rugged type.)
Near. L's successor. He is so much like L. (Yummy also...)
Mikami Teru. I don't know much about him. (But all I know is that he's cute. Period.)
Cloud. My ultimate crush--cloud. He is from "Final Fantasy Seven". (He is my future husband, you bet!!!)
Gaara. From Naruto--Gaara. (Look at the eyeliner... wehhh!!!)
Sasuke. (Look at the hair... Who comes to your mind?? Ha? As in? NOt so.. giggles...)
Sai. (Actually, we're engaged). 
 Pain. He's a beauty. 
Kira Yamato. From Gundam Seed Destiny.
Natsume. He bears the fire alice... Alice academy hearthrob. 
Narumi-Sensei. He has the human pheromone Alice.
 Tamahome. From Fushigiyugi. (My first crush)
Sasuke.Full Metal Panic.
Rukawa. Slum dunk dashing romeo.

There you go. The final set of 2010's "Catherine's Crushes in the Anime World". Whatever you may say, I am so inlove with all of them. Next time, I will post my lamentations about life and love life--but I'm getting tired of it already. Shivers!
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