Forbidden Element

(I wrote this in Spanish so that not everyone will encrypt.. this message is especially for you kuya j)

 El hermano, yo soy tan sory para todas las cosas que hice a husted. Se que cause aflegieria. Usted me puede llamar un mentiroso todo desea. Fui dolido realmente pero soy fino. Yo siempre le he respetado y le adorado.

Fue siempre alli cuando llore y amis momento felices. Ellos quizas pensen que es malo, pero para mi usted es el mejor hermano enn el mundo.

Lamento mucho a hermano y te quero tanto.Adios y gracias por todo! Idios bendice!

I came back to see where I belong. Stubborn-yes! Hardheaded-sure! Liar-no way!

I am an emo. (Sure I am.) Whatever comes from my mouth is the entire truth--for those who knows who I really am. If I tell you 'your dress is nice'--I mean it. If I tell you "i don't like your attitude"--yeah I mean it (for sure). But that doesn't mean that because I act different from what other people expect and assume me to do means that I am a total rebel--doesn't mean that I don't get hurt, doesn't mean that I could just let everything pass. It could be too much that at some point I can't bear it anymore, and in some instances I tend to be more suicidal. From my 17 years of existence in the world mayo, I still am not good at handling problems. There are a lot of things that I know I can't change, I know I can't return, I know I can't replay but I am struggling to fight what I long have been. Silly. But as far as I know, I am really like this. I don't ask you to believe everything that I say but even for a moment, consider how I feel when you try not to listen, when you try not to care. It damn hurts a lot. But I know I can't please everyone. I am not after being in good terms with everyone--I am not Miss Congeniality. But at least, I want not to be hated--though unloved, it's okay than to be unwanted. =)  

It's not yet goodbye...but, till we meet again...

The fact that four of my most beloved kuyas are leaving, is so startling. They already finished their studies and I may say, (congratulations mga kuya), but it is still so vague. It still seems that they will forever be a part of TN and we will always be together. Holidays have been fun because I spent it with them. Looking back to the minute I stepped my foot on the TN office, it was then that I realized that I will be a part of it--and sure it did, I became a staffer!

I don't have a brother but in TN, I am full with brotherly love. They all inspire me and makes me wish I had a real brother but their mere presence is enough. I love all of my kuyas.

KUYA JUNRELL CALUNOD (TN EiC) My original Kuya

The first time I knew that he was the EiC, I laughed at my self. Because at first, I thought Kuya Noriel was Junrell Calunod. I mistook him for being the eic because he was always there at the written exam and the interview. 

Kuya Junrell, as I would squeeze my first impression, is respectable. It is when you look at him, you really can't say that he is just a normal student. He has the air of leadership and you can't just say he is a typical college student in the whole system of NORSU.

We were really not that close but as I would remember, he gives the warmest brotherly hug in the world when you need him. He gives you advises that you can easily relate upon. WAPU members are Kuyas closest but he showed to us--the Adam's Apple Society Girls--that we are his little sisters.

I also was very touched when Kuya showed his total concern for me when I was in the hospital. (Thank you for the icecream kuya--it saved my life actually.) Though he is always busy, he never forgets to jam with all of us. That is what I will miss about Kuya the most.

He is about to move on to another chapter in his life. We, who are left, will still embattle with the challenges he was had fought and conquered but we will always be inspired because at teh end of the day, there will always be a Kuya Junrell whom we can run to--no matter how far the distance.

KUYA MARVIN JAY MUPAL (TN News Editor) My lovable Kuya

He nitiated the Adam's Apple Society. I would always laugh at his clever jokes and would be touched by his brotherly concern to everyone though he would often stretch it in a funny manner.

At first, Kuya Mavs, as what I thought he was, was strict--writing wise. He is a good editor and he is responsible with his work.

We, the AAS girls are very close to him, especially Rolyn, Lycel, and I. He is always there, ready to make your eyes teary with laughter. Even if we have problems, being with Kuya Mavs would always remind us that life, indeed, is still worth living. I love you kuya mavs!

KUYA PAUL DENVER SY (TN Web Master) My 1/8 Chinese Kuya

Kuya Paul has always been approachable from the start.

I will not forget the time he taught us how to make a blogger account though he was rushing to his class. He is one of the few people who I salute for their knowledge in computer stuffs. What a computer freak you are kuya Denver!!! hahaha...

I always ask for his help when I (show my ignorance in civilization) can't seem to know how to make things possible through the computer, when I want to research a song, if I want to listen to a song, and whenever I sing a song, he does the searching for me...oh, sweet kuya Paul.

Though you told me before that you are sad because you don't have a special someone, and I can't believe it because you are so good-looking (Ahemmmm!)

Time will come Kuya that girls will fall in line for you. Hehehe... You will soon find the perfect girl for you. Someone who could take good care of you and someone whom you could take care of too.

KUYA CHRISTIAN EDU VILLEGAS (TN ARTIST) My cute Kuya

Thoug we were close only at the second semester, I still could say that I love kuya Tian!

Whenever I need an advise, he is just a text away. He knows some of my secrets too--he is a good listener.

Kuya Tian you will be a teacher soon. Keep on inspiring people with your warmth and charm... God Bless you Kuya Tian!!!

A.) If I have been a real pain in the neck. If I really have been so, well, please bear with me. This is just me; I can adjust but not totally revoke my character. Emo they may say--I admit that I am--so they care? I care for all of you and please have the patience to stick with me...I really can't live alone.

B.) I am a great pessimist. I can't pretend to think positive if things around me are freaking me out. Once I say I want to die, it seems to be a consolation that at the end of the day, there will be two outcomes. It's either I will die, or those whom/which I hate the most will vanquish. But in the 17 years of my existence, neither of the two choices were granted. I wonder why. Maybe it is because... my pessimistic words are a reciprocating force that drives things to become positive. Because if not, I could have hung myself on the tree long time ago.

C.) Stupid Mood Swings. Sometimes, I become happy and on the next moment, I want to stab people who crosses my peripheral view. Damn it! I swear I don't like this attitude problem. But I salute those people who are long immuned with my unbearable behavior, I love you all guys.

D.) I have a criminal mind--joke!!!--but I want it to be true. How I wish  have this kind of ability. Like owning a death note, I really want to start writing names!