He whispered the words that "I'll miss you"
and left a note outside the door
he said I'll be back some time
before our hearts grow cold
and you've never seen this heart
we never spent more than a day apart
you can say he's up to something
you can say he's up to something
I can sense he's up to something
Cause he found love out west
he found everything that wasn't me
he found love in California
he found love in California
and I'm destined to start over
now I'm destined to start anew
cause I have everything in you...
So as goes the song of Four Letter Lie "Stay For A Lifetime". The question is, "Can he still stay with me? Everything has not been OK since he went away. I waited. I cried. Yet, I don't want to surrender.
I already begged for him to stay. He didn't listen. He moved away. He left me. Yet now, I am still missing him.
I already promised myself that I will never mention him again, but I still do. I never get tired of calling his name in the middle of the night, looking up the sky, hoping that he watches the stars like I do. Though always in tears, I reminisce our happy times together.
It has been a year since he left. The last time we were together was when he sent me home. Together, we went to my bestfriend's house. Holding the camera, he took pictures of me and him and my bestfriend appreciated his shots. I told him that he can be a good photographer someday--so off he went.
"Let's go home." I told him.
He smiled and held my hand. "Whatever you like, *****"
He drove his motorcycle and I was right behind hugging him. It could have been sweet but not till he told me he's going to Manila. I was in tears but I remained strong hoping that everything will be OK.
Months went by, I found a new love. He is still stuck in Manila and is already a photographer. Girls flock around him while I am still here, waiting and wishing he would come back.
Not till one fateful night...
He told me he's already in Dumaguete. I wondered if he was just joking or what. I asked him if it was true. He did not answer.
Janet, on the other hand, really wants to help me because he is not replying my text messages. Janet texted him and he replied. She told him everything which I know I can't afford to tell him.
There, I got the closure I wanted from the start. He let me go.
Many people are asking me, why I am like this. I just smile and say "I'm EMO".
This is the answer to all your questions.
Jerome Olarte (Jhom
) was my best friend. He used to teach me how to play basketball. He taught me how to play the guitar. He went with me to World Of Fun and played just for me. He won a stuffed toy that time and gave it to me. I still have it till now--Wesley.
We were friends for so long.We were together most of the time. He promised me he would stay with me forever-- I believed him then.
But there was something about the way he held my hand. It signaled a thought of him saying goodbye. Girl's instincts are often true. I believe it now.
Truth? I am still not over him. I don't know until when will I shake him off my heart. He used to be my everything, and now that he's gone, I lost every part of me. He is now happy with his life and I am here, stuck with my memories of him.
It's so painful. Seeing a couple holding hands is one of the daily sights which tortures me. I tried to divert my attention to someone.. yet I still can't. No one could ever equate with the love I out poured before just and only for him.
I want to be happy. Yet every time I try to be, people always judge me. They value their opinion more than they should have listened to what I should say.
The issue on being close with boys doesn't mean I'm flirting. I just miss him, that's all. Boys have more sense than when you talk to girls.
I miss him everyday. I miss him so bad. How can I move on or find some one new if every day of my life, he occupies my thoughts and my heart. I need help. Bad thing about falling in love is not moving on.
The next time that someone will hold my hand,I hope it means forever. I miss you.
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