Forbidden Element

Though I am still eighteen years old, I could already differentiate what's true and what's fake.

All my life, I lived to please people--even f it means it doesn't please me in return, or even if that means I will get hurt after wards. I seek for people's approval and contentment in everything I do. But what brought about all this changes?

It is the people around me who turned me into the demon that I am today. Just seeing people's pretending faces, listening to their endless back stabbing and enduring all the ridicules they had given to me sucks. So what if I am bad? So what if I am evil? What I want the whole world to know is that I don't give a single damn for people who doesn't appreciate a single thing that I do.

I've come to my senses already. If it is to hate you, I will!

Truth is that I really hate you! I will hate all of you for being so plastic. I will despise the very day I came back. Things willl really change for sure but there is one thing I am very sure of, I will never forget all of the things I kept inside of me. Thanks for all the criticisms, for all the ridicules, for all the judgments, for all the times you belittled me and most of all--for making me believe that I am still welcome. I was very wrong on the very first place. And I will forever be remorseful for that.

Thank you TN for showing me the different sides of people. For teaching me a lesson that not everyone can be trusted, that not everyone is your friend. To all the TN people, thank you for wasting your time on me! I am pretty sure I did waste my futile time too but atleast I now have the guts to tell all of you that you have been so unkind. Continue that attitude and I am sure that in no time, you will devour your selves. All of  you who are thirsty of power! Which would somehow lead to corruption (maybe not through money but in terms of other people's lives and time!)

Well, If I may say, I found a few friends in TN. Just very few of them. And I want to thank all of them before my life ends.

To Kenneth for being my true friend. frank as you are Ken. I know that all the words you told me were true. The criticisms were constructive and I appreciate all of them. Thank you for being a crying shoulder. You of all the people in TN has that much sense when I talk to. Thank you for accepting me for who I am and for believin that i could still change Ken...that somehow, someday, I could transform for the better as much as you did. You know Ken, I would have had bawled my eyes out for that. Your kind words touched what's evil inside my heart. I'll forever look up to you Ken. You have my prayers.

Janet. We're all in this together jan. No one understood me as much as you did. No other person in the whole universe soothed me as much as you did. I love you so much jan and thank you for staying after all this time. For always being there. That means a lot to me jan. You know it does.

Cherry. Thank you for always being sweet baby Cher. Stay the same always and remember to fight for your self whenever there is a need to. You have my blessings.


Arvin. To my one and only goi, thank you so much for being one of my sweetest boy best friend. For being true and simple all this time. I love you goi and you know that. Good luck i n every thing you do and God will bless you. I know that. :)

For them who remained tue and for them who remained hostile, I still thank you for molding me into someone that I am today. Thank you but Go To Hell!!! to the people who continuously dragged me down. I hope you will get down and feel down as much as you did make me feel all this time!